Mum life

It’s 5am and I can’t sleep. So here I am deciding to write a piece about having gone back to work full time in January.

So in January I decided to venture back into work life, not as a free, single young woman but now as a full time single mum. First of all, I was meant to have a year off for maternity leave but decided to go back just after 7 months. Why would you do that?! You ask. Well, I’ll give you my reasons. Truth be told,

1. I actually thought I was missing my super busy, fast paced lifestyle at that point

2. I needed money

3. I missed work. I missed work?!

Yeah, sounds insane but I did… until I actually went back.

So for those who don’t know, I’m an early years teacher and currently teach 2-year-olds, and I love what I do, always have. But going back to work after being at home for 7 months with my precious boy was a whole new ball game, totally unexpected. Firstly, I literally couldn’t remember anything, call it baby brain or whatever but I could not remember how to do anything, I forgot my computer login, forgot how to do the register, forgot the code to the front door of my classroom LOL. Believe me, I struggled. Even though I had a settling in period I still struggled for a long time. I’ve been back a full term now (which was 5 weeks this term) and I’m pretty sure I only JUST got my head round (most) things.

Before I became a mum, I loved (okay, no. I didn’t mind) getting up for work in the mornings and spending a day with a bunch of 2-year-olds, and I loved those kids like they were my own but since having my own child, after the first week back, I missed him SO much, my heart would literally ache when I thought about being at work with other children while mine was at home. Obviously every parent would miss their baby after coming off maternity leave but this pain I felt was like no other and I think it hurt more because I’m surrounded by children, playing learning, doing all the things I should be watching Israel do. And it did throw me off my game at work to be honest, it took a long, long time for me to just suck it up and understand that I need to be where I am for both of our futures. To be honest I’m not totally over it, I just sound content because I’m on half-term holiday at the moment lol.

Although I did miss my fast paced life, going back made me realise what the most important thing in my life is right now, and that’s being a mum. I’ve read so many blogs and other things about oh you know, a woman not forgetting herself when she becomes a mum and I totally get it, I definitely haven’t forgotten myself but I actually just want to be a mum at this present moment. As stressful as it is being a mum, it’s even more stressful being a full-time working mum, and what’s stressful about it is, being tired when you wake up, being at work all day missing your baby but then coming home and being too tired to do things with your baby! It’s a vicious cycle! Yes I missed work life but now I miss (on maternity) mum life, I guess there’s a balance and I’m currently on a journey to find that, then that becomes the new mum life.

This is the beginning of another journey for us, Israel’s in great hands while I’m at work so at least I don’t have to worry about that, and going back was really the perfect timing because we just got a new flat and it needed a whole lot of work, so the money was definitely needed.

I think as parents we will miss our babies every time we’re away from them and I just have to keep reminding myself that what I do is for both our benefits and he will appreciate what I do in the future. Also unlike some, I get all the school holidays to spend loads of time with him <<< this is me giving myself a pep talk lol.

Until next time guys, all my love,

Hannah xoxo

Raising Israel… 9 month update!

We’ve hit another milestone and I can’t believe how fast time has gone! 9 months already?!

I’m so proud of how Israel’s developing and growing. It makes me so happy to see how far we’ve both come, there’s too much I could say about how much progress we’ve made and how far he’s come along but I’m not going to say too much, Israel’s taking over today ?

If Israel could talk, this is what he’d tell you about his development so far and everything he loves!

I’m nine months now and I am becoming so active! I can’t crawl just yet but I am trying really really hard, when I go on my hands and knees, I try to move so I know I’ll get there soon! I also love standing while holding onto something.

I am teething now! Still have no teeth just yet but my gums have been really sore and I want to put everything in my mouth! Mummy’s got me loads of different teethers to try but they just won’t do! I’d rather eat everything else.

I’ve just started drinking my formula milk from a beaker, mummy tried giving it to me in a bottle but, yuck, I don’t like those, so she was so excited when I finally drank from my sippy cup. I’m getting used to drinking formula milk now BUT I’m still breastfeeding, mostly at night (obviously haha)

My favourite things are: My dummy, my bedtime blankie, the wooden spoon for cooking, my keyboard and my shape sorter

I love: dancing every time music comes on, listening to stories, eating from everybody else’s plate and being tickled!

My favourite songs are: round the garden, zoom, zoom, zoom! and twinkle, twinkle little star

My favourite tv show is: Baby Jake on cbeebies, I also like In the night garden sometimes

My favourite foods are: I’ve been really picky with my food lately but I like eating chicken, rice pudding, cerelac and anything sweet!

I cant wait to do so many more fantastic things and tell you all about it!

I am just the proudest mum ever of this little boy, I’ve gone back to work full time and it has been so hard being away from him, I miss him so much everyday and wish I could be with him every minute of the day! I come home from work some days and he’s doing something new, it’s just so amazing and I’ve been thinking recently, I wish I could be a stay at home mum (I never thought I’d say this LOL) but it’s just not possible right now, there are bills to be paid and a brand new flat to furnish (exciting stuff, but we’ll talk more about that later!)

Anyway, this is where Israel’s at right now, I really enjoyed writing this in his voice, because he won’t remember any of this, it’ll be really nice to look back on when he’s older and it did make me wonder if he’ll love writing as much as I do. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for this young King.

Until next time x